Monday, September 19, 2005

The "AHA" moment

Last night, JaneDoe came over to my place and we celebrated Mooncake festival. We had no lanterns, but one piece of durian mooncake (from Goodwood Park hotel which costs a hefty $10) and two little 'fish' and 'rabbit' were adequate. We complemented our desserts with a bottle of good wine from Gralyn (bought from Margaret River, 2003 Late Harvest Riesling), then chatted the night away, my side garden providing the perfect backdrop. I really appreciate her company as she could well be basking in the company of her soon-to-be husband or her family. Then it dawned upon me that all my girl friends are all attached and this triggered my "aha" moment.

I, right now, am going to pencil four points on how to be single and happy. I know...very cheesy, but you will find it useful and applicable to you in some sense.
  1. Build a life rich in pleasure. The pleasure of time, space, rich surroundings, luxurious body care, flowers, etc. are not just reserved for a lover to give as gifts. These are gifts you can give yourself. Look at life as something nurturing and fruitful, venerate in nature, exercise, a good meal, etc. You see, many singles (and even the ordinary rat competitors) love to be accomplished and sacrifice much quality time in their life.
  2. Build community. Building community means having people who are there for you, who care about you and your life. Community can cater many of your needs. Most people deem that the only way to get emotional needs met is through a partner. Well, you can build and strengthen community by participating in activities that interests you or by volunteering.
  3. Passion/Purpose/Vision/Action. Many singles are waiting for a relationship to infuse their life with passion and purpose, not realizing that having a loving partner is not a substitute for a meaningful life. Be powered by passion. Have a purpose for waking up in the morning. Have a vision of your place in the world and what you want to contribute to others. Take action about all of these. Single or with a partner, your life's purpose is your own, and will energize you when pursued. You will be happiest and fulfilled following your life purpose. Figure out what makes time stop for you, what lights you up to no end, what always fuels you with energy.
  4. Let go of the past. There is no surer way to spoil an otherwise great life than with resentments and anger about what happened in the past. Most people know they need to let go of the past and yet most believe that they can't. Your life happens now, today, and is not a dress rehearsal for when you have a relationship. When you want to participate in life, but by stopping yourself because you are single, you stifle your spirit. On the other hand, living the life you want now enlivens and energizes you. It gives you a sense of wellbeing and happiness.

3 comments:

Jane Doe said...

hey babe! love ur new layout - where did u get it?? hehe! anywayz, loved the night as much as you did...gona miss u, come back quick from New York! :) Wish I were there...

Durrow Gal! said...

My friend from Perth did it for me. She's a whiz in this! Really appreciate her effort! Yeah...I hope it will be an exciting trip. Tell you more when I get back.

Durrow Gal! said...

Our dear Han...heeh...she's the whiz.